“32 Cent Shoes” - a song about quality
Story Pairing
This is actually a song that I started years ago about a horrible pair of shoes I bought from a Dollar General in Ashtabula, OH. However that version of the song was even worse than the shoes, so I boxed it up, chained the box, and dropped it down a deep watery well. Around Thanksgiving I was back in the area where the I got the shoes, and I decided to re-write the song since it was a funny memory.
The story takes place in Ashtabula Harbor, a gem of an area in an otherwise less than lovely place. Ashtabula County has been getting a positive image back in some ways from wineries and some young blood going in and shaking things up, but areas like the downtown…. are rough. Now the villain of our story feeds upon areas like this, they sniff out low income and plant their big ugly flag where all can see. A light for unassuming moths, drawn towards the promise of a deal. I am talking about dollar stores. An ugly box filled with deceptive imitation items that fall to pieces leaving the buyer further in the hole than when they started while also contributing to a world full of slightly used trash. I don’t like dollar stores.
For my part in this tale, I fell right into the trap myself. Hook, line, sinker.
I was going to go kayak with my dad, and the plan was to stop by the harbor to get some lunch. All I had were my boots and I didn’t want to get them wet, but needed to be able to walk into a food spot. I felt the need, blinked, and found myself in the fluorescent haze that is a Dollar General. The smell of bleach, plastic, and despair clung to me.
On an end cap, I quickly found my goal. It was like the General new I would be there. Crafty bastard. It was a pack of 2 pairs of flip flops for $0.64. I am size 14, the largest was a 12… I bought them. Did I try them on? No. Was I confident? Yes. Was I a fool? Also yes.
I bit through the plastic tie (bad I know), threw a pair of the plastic shoes in my plastic boat. Grabbed by plastic paddle and hopped in a plastic filled river. Ah, commerce.
When we stopped at the dock area for lunch, we started crossing the little bridge there to go to a BBQ spot, and not even halfway across one of the shoes snapped. One of the straps broke right in the middle, not at a point of connection/stress, just right in the middle of nowhere were it barely had to do any work. My brand new .32 cent shoes made it maybe 300 feet before breaking. My dad got a real laugh out of it, and I pushed through the rest of our excursion trying to keep the dumb shoe somewhat on my foot. I looked a fool. Dollar General, I will *never forget what you’ve done to me.
*For a medium to medium/large sponsorship I can forget what you’ve done to me.
Song Structure
Chords:
Verse - G / C / G / D / G / C / G / D / G
Chorus - G / C / G / Em / C / G / Em / C / G
Voice Memos
Notebook Page
Dec. 2023
Lyrics
Late at night on a fresh paved road
Couple fancy fellas come to lighten my load
They robbed me cept my guitar and some change
Naked as the day I was born
They still let me into a dollar store
And I found a prize for which I could exchange
Got my 32 cent shoes, my 32 cent shoes
Every penny left is just sitting there confused
Why i would tread a path of such abuse
Up the way I thought I’d seen
Some shining lights on buildings clean
Tailor shops and a warm place I could eat
I tightened up my brand new tappers
Tuned my strings, was feeling dapper
My ensemble was soon to be complete
Only took about half a day
For my blistering feet to find the way
Started asking where I could get some clothes
Those members of high society
Could not stand the sight of me
The lack of craftmasnhip around me showed
Got my 32 cent shoes, my 32 cent shoes
Every penny left is just sitting there confused
Why i would tread a path of such abuse
I kindly asked a concierge
If i could find a place upstairs
To rinse the clinging dust and rest my eyes
He showed me to a shack out back
And rustled up an old potato sack
Said buddy, you can try that on for size
Then my stomach chimed a familiar tune
So I danced my way to a silver spoon
Table clothes and napkins white as snow
When I saw all the dollar signs
Tried to run with some stolen wine
But my 32 cent shoes refused to go
The laces and the stitching blew
The sole on the left forgot it had glue
The one on the right flew into the air
It landed in some senators stew
And my potato sack, that flew off too
He was screaming, while his wife just blushed and stared
Got my 32 cent shoes, my 32 cent shoes
Every penny left is just sitting there confused
Why i would tread a path of such abuse
Now my toes are wiggling free
As I sit in the penitentiary
No more are they trudging here or there
They took away those budget shoes
And issued something new to use
That seemed a Turkish slipper when compared
So if theres some sort of message here
Lets try and make it crystal clear
So I can keep you from this sort of fate
If you’re naked and funds are low
Find somewhere else to go
Than the dollar store with a 32 cent mistake