“Ghost” - a song about acclimation
Story Pairing
Last month I lost my voice. Not the normal kind of scratchy raspy throat from yelling, no, this was something that wanted to create a bit more fear and self-doubt than that. It wanted to make a lasting mark on my memory. For about 3 days I couldn’t really even make a proper noise, it was like someone had stuffed cotton down my throat, little squeaks and pitiful puffs of noise was about it. When my tired little voice started to crawl its way back out, it brought this little sticky cough with it. It would patiently give me a few sentences and then want its turn to bark out a verse or two. It’s still hanging around, and seems to have grown quite fond of reminding me that I’m only just on the other side of the rickety fence.
On day 4, I felt like getting out of the house, and I ordered some chicken tenders in Cuyahoga Falls. I left the house in silence, it had become my new cloak, wrapped tight around my shoulders. I drove to the spot, gave my money, picked up my bag, all while conserving auditory rumblings and leaning more on head nods and confident gestures. While walking back to my car, on block two I passed a venue having an open mic. It’s a heavily windowed place, and I didn’t want to be seen. Not because I didn’t want to join, but because I know I couldn’t sing for anyone. I knew the folks in there, and I didn’t see how I could walk in without having to do at least some initial talking, and at this point every word had a high cost. It felt like I had a limited number to use before I would make something worse.
So I walked past a room full of my friends, no voice, and a bag of greasy chicken. I felt like I had nothing to give anyone (and I sure as hell wouldn’t be sharing my tenders…), so yea, pretty useless.
When I got home I started to write this song, and it’s maybe one of my favorites I’ve written in a long time. I love the final guitar part and I’m really not sure where it came from. I had done a few versions with just my typical fingerpicking pattern, but it didn’t feel right. It felt like there was too much going on, and this song was all about barely being there. I wanted the idea of being almost transparent to come through in more than just the lyrics.
I talk a lot about traveling and being on the move, and recently more and more songs are taking on that palette as well. It’s just something that is really shaping who I am. I love it. The hard parts, the easy parts, the busy parts, the slow parts. All of it is perfect. The idea of taking one day at a time and soaking up all that you can, it’s intoxicating. It’s true that when I slow down and stay put, that’s when I don’t really know what to do with myself. My friends and family are used to interacting with me from afar, so when I am close, I don’t feel like the version they know best. Hence the idea of being a ghost. I also think that is something we all feel from time to time. Either from breaking a habit, or be around new (or old) friend groups. We have an identity that we construct and when people see a different version of that identity, all parties feel that difference. We then slowly get used to whatever the most “surface” version is. The old ones get set aside, and sometimes those hold more truth and it hurts to see them fade, even slightly.
There’s a lot of potential feelings in there, and it’s fun to write them out to see how they shape a song. For anyone that is either doing songwriting themselves, or just enjoys delving into lyrics, it’s a fun activity to create a narrative around lyrics. Something as simple as being sick and carrying a bag of fast food sneakily can spark a whole pile of thoughts and feelings, and it’s nice to have a pile of just about anything when it comes to writing.
Song Structure
*capo around 3rd fret
Chords:
Verse - G / C / G / D / Em / C / G / D / C / G
Chorus - C / D / G
Bridge - Am / C / D / G
Voice Memos
Notebook Page
MAR 2024
Lyrics
What do you have left if you have nothing
What's the point of going on
Walk down familiar streets, where you made your way and cut your teeth
But they don't know the difference when you're gone
Let them see you from the inside
Gave them every twist and turn
The bits you hid so long, they liked for maybe half a song
Obsolescence is a bitter thing to learn
Cause I'm a ghost in this town
They've grown used to not having me around
Ache for that look of recognition
As I walk into a local townie bar
Voices would say my name, and rounds of drinks cement my name
But all that's here is another rising star
Cause I'm a ghost in this town
They've grown used to not having me around
And I can't blame em
It's true I'm chasing
Any opportunity
To help secure my legacy
And keep my memory from breaking down
Cause I'm a ghost in this town
They've grown used to not having me around