“Give A Damn” - a song about hiding from forgiveness
Being perfect is a crapshoot… Also don’t worry, I’m not popping pills, just Spicy Chicken sandwiches from McDonalds.
Backstory
This comes loosely from missing the road and sleeping in my car. There was one instance where I was heading home from Columbus and I just couldn’t stay awake, so I pulled in to a gas station to get something to eat or a coffee or something, and it was closed (granted it was almost 2am). We are all pretty spoiled with most stations operating 24/7 around here, so anyway I was annoyed and decided to just rest my eyes maybe 10 minutes before heading on… that turned into a few hours. I was woken up by a tapping on my window, just a cop making his rounds I imagine. He just asked me if I had been drinking (nope) and then asked me to keep moving. I got back on the road and maybe two exits down was a Sheetz (probably a 24/7 one too). I got an orange juice and I think a chocolate chip cookie, and was back on my way home. A nice story, doesn’t contribute to the bulk of the lyrics, but it does set the stage.
The bitter words come from my struggle with letting anger and pride get in my way of forgiveness. It’s easy to be stubborn when you think someone is being selfish, but it’s also a nasty reflection on the person you are or are trying to be. Stubborn doesn’t even begin to describe my shortcomings, but what I can’t seem to work through in my head, I normally can with a song. This song holds tiny fragments of those many moments throughout recent years where I’ve held back love where it was so needed.
I wonder what would be different if I could handle all of life’s confrontations with a bit more grace. Not a longing for something else, just reflection and curiosity.
Writing Process
This one went from V1 to notebook to V2 in the matter of 20 minutes. I’m not sure if any of it had been cooking prior, it all seemed new and in a style a touch different than my norm. My guess is that it was sent by Creativity with a different recipient in mind, and I stuck my head in the way.
The progression leans heavily on the C shape with the G on the bottom. I was listening to Noah Gundersen’s “Dying Now”, and he uses that shape to give a fuller tone. It’s fun to play too, and the percussive strumming and melody kept making me think of Phoebe Bridgers… hope they don’t sue me!
Notebook Page.
Feb. 19th, 2021
Lyrics
Packed my things, least a thousand times
This trail I'm on, I'm still trying
To find my way, or who I am
The road don't care, and you don't give a damn
Sleeping in this empty lot
Stomachs howling, I might get caught
They'll push me on
Cause they know they can
The law don't care, and you don't give a damn
If I'm broken or I'm bleeding
If I'm scared or if I'm not
If the hounds are on my heels, they'll be snapping till I'm caught
This ain't nothing, like the pictures, I saw inside your books
That you snatched from my clutches, every time I tried to look
You pushed me to the curb, my cheek still feels your hand
I still love you, you don't give a damn
The angels came, they were pushing pills
Said take just one, or else it kills
I took em all, just to make my stand
God don't care and you don't give a damn
If I'm broken or I'm bleeding
If I'm scared or if I'm not
If the hounds are on my heels, they'll be snapping till I'm caught
This ain't nothing, like the pictures, I saw inside your books
That you snatched from my clutches, every time I tried to look
You pushed me to the curb, my cheek still feels your hand
I still love you, you don't give a damn
I finally found, a place to hide
Cooking hot, on a raging fire
Far away from the touch of man
I'll rot in hell, and you don't give a damn
If I'm broken or I'm bleeding
If I'm scared or if I'm not
If the hounds are on my heels, they'll be snapping till I'm caught
This ain't nothing, like the pictures, I saw inside your books
That you snatched from my clutches, every time I tried to look
You pushed me to the curb, my cheek still feels your hand
I still love you, you don't give a damn
I still love you, you don't give a damn
I still love you, you don't give a damn