“I Am The Ocean” - a song about envy
I took this picture of a seagull flying away from a family’s beach setup after him and his buddies destroyed a bag of pretzels they had. The parents stood there in silent defeat. The small boy was chasing in mock defense. The young girl was crying and yelling like they had just pulled a friend to pieces. (Panama City, FL)
Story Pairing
It doesn’t happen too often, but this is one of those tunes that I truly don’t remember where it came from or much of a story that sparked it. I know that the concept started with wanting to be something that you aren’t and then I just went from there.
The first line talks about rocks wanting to be water, and the idea of them shouting that they want to be the thing that is slowly washing them away stuck out to me. To add to the “sorrow” of the situation, the water knows that it’s better than the rocks and will be their end, but is trying to gently keep that to themselves.
The rest of the song speaks for itself (and I do normally hate just talking through the lyrics, it seems like cheap writing for these musings, and I don’t want to color what they may mean to you…. however…. I am going to break my personal rules for this one).
When I play this song, I think of a drunk broken man who knows that the only good thing in his life is his love. He is aware that he isn’t worthy of her attention, but get’s it anyway. She keeps picking him up from his lowest moments and he’s embarrassed she sees him that way. That’s where the envy comes in. He becomes envious of his caretaker, wishing that he could be as good as she is. And instead of being thankful that he has her, he is bitter that he can’t break his cycle. Forever he will be a stone, sinking to the bottom.
But hey, what they heck do I know. Make the song about whatever you want it to be. Songs are a patchwork quilt for me. They are hundreds of little seeds that stick to your pants as you walk in and out of peoples lives and different places. They may hold a spark of one memory, and whisper of another, and a ghost of something witnessed. They don’t exist without perspective and experience, but they can never reflect just one face. It’s a broken mirror and each shard belongs to the listener in a special way. That needs to be remembered and needs to matter. Otherwise it’s just a piece of gray plastic.
Video Notes:
I took this video in the Francis Marion National Forest. I was staying at an off-grid swamp-house owned by one of the venues I was playing at that week. It was so badass to be right in the middle of such a different sort of landscape. Swamps are a little spooky, but absolutely full of surprises. I’m a big fan.
Thank you to the folks on Patreon for privately funding these videos that everyone get’s to enjoy. MVPs!
Song Structure
Chords:
Verse - C / CB / Am / Em / G / C / CB / F
Chorus - C / Em / Am / F / C / G / C / F / C
Bridge - Am / F / C / G
Voice Memos
Notebook Page
Jan 2018
Lyrics
I am the ocean
Said the rocks on the coast
Cause they wanted it the most
With every passing hour
And the waters churning power
Stills she’s trying not to boast
And I stumble, she pulls me in
I regret never did learn how to swim
Im a stone sinking to the bottom
Sinking to the bottom
Strong whiskey in my glass
Burning hot and going fast
But it never goes away
Now I'm drunk
And it's too god damn late to go
But still she takes me home
And I stumble, she pulls me in
I regret that I’m living in my sin
Im a stone, sinking to the bottom
Sinking to the bottom
And the tide may leave, so the rocks may breath
But it's the salty air that is hers
And the glass may break, ashamed of my mistake
But the words that we said were true
And I stumble, she pulls me in
I regret it took me so long to give in
Im a stone, sinking to the bottom
Sinking to the bottom