“I Want It” - a song about perseverance
I don’t think I believe in myself so much as I enjoy proving some people wrong.
Story Pairing
Have you ever wanted someone to not do a cool/hard/different thing because you would be jealous? Even more, have you ever tried to talk them out of it so you could avoid feeling that way?
That’s where the seed of this song came from. When I was quitting the last full time job I had, I was originally planning on going to work for a different company doing video editing. I thought the new job was a sure thing, but it fell through. I had already quit the other one, and my pride (among other things) would not let me go back, forward was the only way. That is when I looked at what I was doing, I was playing a lot of shows, and making enough money to almost cover my bills… so on paper, if I didn’t have a full time job I could play more and make enough money to stay afloat in society… I had notebook pages full of daydreaming of being a musician and hopes of being able to push away the fear and imposter syndrome enough to do it.
During this period, about 2-3 weeks, where I was finishing out the old job and about to jump into working for myself, I had a handful of conversations with people close to me. I can think of three I had where the conversation partner was trying to talk me out of doing only music. Common themes mentioned where “It won’t be fun anymore when it’s work”, “I know so and so who does that already is struggling”, “But health insurance…”, “So and so tried that and went back to work right away”…etc.
I remember in those moments feeling a bit of surprise at some of those reactions, but it also felt like a little bit of want was within them. Like they had something that they want to do more of in trade for doing less of something else. Instead of leaning into their own wants, they threw ropes on my balloon to hold it down. It also felt like it stoked a furnace in my guts that was simmering without me even knowing. I now had the best motivation I could get, something to prove.
Is that a healthy reaction? No. Do I care? Eh, not so much. I like building good habits and improving myself, but some things make me who I am, and I am keeping them.
Also have I ever been jealous of someone else and said things along the same lines? Yes. I’d call it a mix of jealousy and competitive spirit. A nasty cocktail, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t ever had a sip.
Oh, also I wanted to put the word “jubilation” into a song.
Song Structure
This has an intro where you hang out on the 5. When If first started playing the song, my mind would think of the song like it was in the key of D and I wouldn’t hit the starting note… I use my harmonica to honk the right note before I start (you can catch me doing so live, training wheels).
Key: G
Progressions
Intro - D
Verse - G / C / C# / D / G
Chorus - C / G / C / G / D
Bridge - F / C / G / F / C / D
Solo - G / F / C / G
Voice Memos
Notebook Page
Jan 2022
Lyrics
I've been wasting all my money
I whittle every dollar down
Try to make a little name for myself
In this god forsaken town
And I head back to the kitchen
I'm gonna find that recipe
Why it will never work out darling
Between you and between me
And we go searching round the nation
Try to find an explanation
How we lost our jubilation
I want it
With a little aggravation
And a touch of seperation
We can hear the right vibration
I want it
And you tell me that youre leaving
Go one and step back from my door
I don't want your broke ass sitting
Taking spaces up no more
And I'm swearing to you mama
See it's closer I can tell
If you can't believe in me know
Then your leaving is just as well
And we go searching round the nation
Try to find an explanation
How we lost our jubilation
I want it
With a little aggravation
And a touch of separation
We can hear the right vibration
I want it
Maybe in a few years, saying look at us now
Made it through some shit times and we don't know how
And we go searching round the nation
Try to find an explanation
How we lost our jubilation
I want it
With a little aggravation
And a touch of separation
We can hear the right vibration
I want it
We can hear the right vibration
I want it
We can hear the right vibration
I want it