“Now You Know” - a song about running away
Promises are easy to make but always a different thing to keep. Some things seem like they will last forever and some places start out feeling like home, but slowly crumble around you. Running away isn’t seen as a positive in many circles, but finding a new direction and parting ways is a nice way to spin it.
Backstory
To admit to a couple bad (debatably horrible) habits, I find it hard to take things seriously most of the time. Friends know that I am quick to hide behind sarcasm in situations where I may be a little uncomfortable. Sharing feelings is a skill I never gave the attention it deserved. When sarcasm doesn’t work, running away normally does the trick.
I find myself writing a large number of songs that can be interpreted as either exploring or running, the two often go hand in hand.
This one in particular was written during the mix of emotions of wanting to start a new career path focused more on music, and during the time when I lost a friend. The two headspaces would cross over often leading up to this song and I was thinking about how before leaving, you may start to feel yourself fading away, but before anyone else does.
This tune’s perspective is from two halves of a torn mind. One side is sure that they are leaving, acknowledging that they aren’t enough for the moment in time and should go. The other is begging to be anchored and forgiven for mistakes, and welcomed to stay.
This song became the title track to my 2021 solo release that you can get over here. Enjoy!
Writing Process
This was started in Ohio and finished in a bathroom outside of Boston, MA (an Aloft to be specific).
It started from a selfish place of me daydreaming about leaving work to become a full time musician (something that I had daydreamed about for years, but comfort and Covid kept me in the safe zone). The song never felt right and so I left it undone, which isn’t unusual, I have notebooks full of half finished songs. What is unusual is coming back to it.
I was feeling a certain way reflecting on the loss of some friends from my life and this tune bubbled back up. I was on a trip to the New England states, and tucked myself into a hotel bathroom for some practicing and solace, and the last bit of the song came to me and I finished it. Originally I had a completely different tempo and chord structure, and a new progression and layout came to me while in that Boston bathroom, and the songs sits before you now.
A side note, when I left my last job I had a great friend that left at a similar time. I think of her every time I play this song. It’s amazing how songs catch cement themselves to people, times, places, etc. I love that about art so much, and I feel very attached to this song for that reason.
Notebook Page.
June - Aug, 2021
Lyrics
Thought that you should know that I’m leaving
You’ve always been a warm and welcome friend
Though the road may take my name
Nothing stays the same I hope to see you again
Thought that you should know that I’ll do better
I filled this house with many broken things
Memories can’t last They crack like fallen glass
The pieces are all I can bring
Hold me darling, never let me go
Hold me darling, thought that you should know
That this old singer may be wrong
But he hopes you’d sing along
Here I go, now you know
Thought that you should know that I’m a liar
I swore to god I’d never leave you here
But he and I are fighting
I’m packed to leave tonight, and,
I’m hoping, I can disappear
Hold me darling, never let me go
Hold me darling, thought that you should know
That this old singer may be wrong
But he hopes you’d sing along
Here I go, now you know
That this old singer may be wrong
But he hopes you’d sing along
Here I go, now you know